Being a parent is busy! It can be a full time job and that’s
not including working outside the home and the chores that need doing around
the house.
How can we connect with our
children or make our children feel important when we are so busy? Hopefully these few things may help you to
connect with your child in just a few minutes a day. Some may seem bizarre but have fun trying
them out anyway.
I have three boys and most conversations or experiences they
want to tell me about revolve around superheroes or gaming. Being a mum to three boys
also means I might hear three different versions of the same thing... and
sometimes all at once too. Here are some things that have helped me deal
with the times when they really want me to listen.
1)
To really connect with your child you need eye
contact when they are talking, even if for a few seconds. It’s easy to say
‘ah-ha’ or ‘mmm’ when listening to your child while you’re busy doing
something, but we know we don't hear as well when we are doing two things at once. If you know the conversation is going to take a while say, I'll be ready to sit and listen to you in a few minutes and make sure you come back to them.
2)
If you really can’t actively listen and look
them in the eye at that moment, or you are busy with a chore, ask them to be
involved by saying something like, “I’m
busy at the moment with .... cooking, cleaning or doing the laundry, ... it
would be great if you could help me out and then we can sit together and you
can tell me all about it”. Normally, if
it is important they will stick around, or the idea of work will make them
disappear. This gives them a choice.
3)
If your child is constantly looking to tell you
about something or wanting your attention as soon as you move out of their
sight, I would recommend trying to have a box where they can write or draw a
picture about what it is they want to say.
Let them know they can open the box at a preset time and go through
what’s been on their mind during the day.
It may be a time before bed or at preset times in the day.
So, if you want to connect with your child they do need undivided
attention even if it is just a few minutes but you can give them alternatives if you are busy by getting them to be involved with what you are doing, like preparing a meal. If that is not possible rather be honest with them and tell them to come back in 10 minutes.
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