Something happened at preschool....

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Yesterday I got called aside by my son’s preschool teacher. My son had been playing up a bit at preschool and now the teacher’s thought it was time to let me know.

“How has he been at home they asked? Notice any changes in his behaviour at home?”

“No", I replied.

“Well, he’s been acting up today, playing a little rough and being a little disruptive on the mat?”

“Is it any time in particular?” I asked “No, it’s random!”

They apologise for having to tell me the ‘bad news’ but in some respects it’s only been going on a few days so in my mind there is an opportunity for change and I will find a way.

I take him home and have a good chat about making the teacher happy because “if you don’t do what the teacher wants it makes her job hard and she may get cranky”. I watch his face while I tell him and he starts to get really quiet and pensive. I drop the subject and later at bathtime, he says “but they (the kids) call me all the time, come and play, come and play – he said it over and over again and quite loud and a little angrily”. He doesn’t know it but I hear through his anger that it is difficult for him. He wants to join in and be part of the group but it leads to trouble and his teacher pulling her angry face which he also told me he doesn’t like to see.  So, I explain she won’t pull that face if he is good or walks away when other kids are playing rough.

I did not have this with my other two sons, they have always stood their ground and felt comfortable doing so, where my youngest is a follower.

I held him close and reassured him that it is okay to play with the other boys until they want to do something that is not good, then walk away. His older brother comes in later to the room where my son is getting changed and says– “hey M hit my bottom and I will run away” (suddenly I see an example of what could be happening at preschool). Of course he does hit him - right away, without a second thought. I immediately point out that is an example of what not to do – “M when someone says do this and you don’t want to or you know it is bad say “no” so we practiced loud 'no’s' and role played with his brother some scenarios – the second time he said 'no' and the third time he was just about to hit his brother when he stopped himself and said 'no' instead. A breakthrough!A few more practices and lots of high fives and I feel a little more reassured that he has learnt a new skill.

I dropped him off at preschool today and as I hugged him goodbye I asked “what’s the magic word and he whispered “No”. that’s my son and I’m proud of him! Stay tuned for an update and if you would like role play ideas email me eleanor@parentwithpotential.com

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow! Look forward to hearing how the day panned out... what a great outcome - so far.

Parent with Potential said...

Thanks, looking forward to posting a follow up!

 
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