RESPECT and Relationships

Monday, June 13, 2011

Without it relationships may cease to exist. Respect is a necessity if any relationship is to succeed or better yet - be a great relationship.

Respect in marriage
I have a theory that marriages work if they are based on respect. You can have a marriage based on love? or respect? Or both? But if respect is gone, love will battle to stand that test. Respect to me is an action word, you have to show or/and earn respect. Love is a feeling, respect is a doing. You can stop doing something or start doing something to show respect for someone else. If you respect someone most likely you would want to please them, you consider them and their opinions, you care about what they think. I think if you are married to someone you don’t respect, don’t esteem, don’t admire or have regard for, the relationship may struggle.

Most of us are taught to love, how many times do we tell our children, “don’t hit your brother/sister love them”, “don’t say that to him/her, tell him/her you love them”. But I think you cannot love someone you don’t respect, if there is some respect love can grow. It is easy to say you love someone and do something caring. Respect is doing it because you mean it, because they are worthy of it, because you prize them or look up to them.

Imagine you marry someone and after a while they treat you badly, do something you don’t like or start annoying habits that you just cannot understand. Respect starts to lessen, that person who you once held in esteem, regarded and admired is slowly becoming the ratbag, idiot or dummy. Each time respect is lost it is harder to get back until eventually there is no respect and little or nothing to love about that person.

There may be many marriages where people who have once been in love and once respected one another, have lost that feeling due to circumstances, truths, values, behaviours.

What other things may cause you to lose respect for someone?

Respect and Children

Children learn respect from us. Respect can be seen in the way you talk about someone or the way you speak to someone. Respect is to treat someone kindly, courteously or to show consideration for, to have an attitude of esteem towards. We can disrespect our own children by belittling, namecalling, despising or teasing. We can show respect to our children by listening, by understanding when or why they dislike something and be attentive to their needs, emotionally and physically. Do you have time for them, do you speak to them, do you value their opinions?

How else can you display respect to/for your child?

If your child is disrespectful, explain what the outcome is you would like to see. “It really isn’t nice to speak to me like that?” Our children learn respect from us, who else can show them what it is to prize someone, to look up to someone, to speak well of someone in the hope that others will treat us with respect too. Expect respect and show respect to those who you regard highly or prize.


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