“I am so sick of my kids”. What the?

Thursday, June 9, 2011

I opened up twitter this morning. I don’t go into it much and was horrified to see a post entitled “I am so sick of my kids”. It grabbed my attention and I had to read further about what would cause a parent to write such a comment.

I don’t judge this mum for feeling this way but I cannot believe that someone would put up a post with this title. I get that sometimes parents don’t enjoy time with their children, sometimes we’d rather be doing something for ourselves, sometimes our children aren’t fun to talk to or have around but this is sad that it comes down to one line.

I showed my 9yo this title and this was his response to the mum who wrote this:

“that makes me feel horrible because you said that to kids so young.” We then read the post together (after I had read it first to ensure it’s suitability).  His response then was, “You (writer) also have a good point if they (your children) are acting like that.” Even my 9yo can understand that feelings can be justified and that parents should be respected.  Although respect is two fold and it has to be given and modelled and then can be received (will do a post on this sometime).

Holidays can be long, holidays can be hard work and as this mum pointed out there are many things going on in her life right now that may be contributing to her response to her children.

If you feel this way - do as this mother did and try to identify the underlying cause, it’s not always just the kids and quite the contrary sometimes the kids pick up on our feelings or emotional state and act accordingly. For example, have you ever been angry at your spouse and that day the children are fighting all day, it’s the ‘vibe’.

Secondly, no matter how bad your children are don’t let them know how you really feel unless you can put it in a “sandwich”, ie. One bad point and two good points. Even better would be to say specifically what you don’t like about their behaviour - yes even with a five year old. They will get the message. It doesn’t need to be a lecture but identify and point out what you don’t like and if possible what you would like to see instead.

I’m no supermum but I do respect my children and would not want to ruin? or sum up my relationship with them in one line.

Fortunately, many parents have commented on the above post that they actually like spending time with their children.  I am still trying to figure out if this is a post written in jest or desperation either way it's got a reaction but hopefully bloggers will take note that titles mean something.  Afterall, would it make a difference to your blogging or posting if you first asked yourself, "what if my child saw this? What would my child think if he/she saw this?"

My 9yo has been off school and sick for a week now and I haven’t felt like I would not want him around. He is sensible afterall (if his comments are anything to go by, lol) and respectful at least 90% of the time. There are so many things we can do with our children that will promote having an enjoyable time and not an enduring time.

0 comments:

 
The Children's Counsellor © 2012 | Designed by Bubble Shooter, in collaboration with Reseller Hosting , Forum Jual Beli and Business Solutions