Parenting = Pressure

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Parenting is pressure - Why? To do things right, the pressure to do things, the pressure for our kids to be, the pressure for us to be.
Pressure is not always pleasurable, perhaps pressure is a negative state or word that needs to be reframed – what if parenting = passion.

In my what’s the word question yesterday I asked what it is that parents need to have when they have children, it is necessary at various points of the journey of parenting... It starts with "P" and I had two words in mind.
Many parents guessed "patience" and one parent guessed "perserverance" correctly.  One parent wrote PASSION– I was immediately challenged. I love being challenged because it means I’m about to grow.  Passion and Parent/ing?  I lack passion. I may be passionate about my work, about causes but somehow that word did not come up when I thought about my children, my family.

Passionate about being a parent?  Passion as a parent what does it look like? What does it mean to be passionate about parenting? Is this what I lack?

If I were to replace the “pressure” with “passion”, my life might look a little rosier, a little different. What does it mean to me to have passion. We may look at romance novels or movies like twilight and think that is passion but simply passion can be a strong emotion synomyms include fervour, dedication, eagerness, indignation, intensity and zeal – how do these not apply to parenting?  It is what we want as parents for our children.  We are zealous, we are eager to teach them, we are intense and indignation may rise when our children are wronged, we are dedicated. Wow, I see lots of pages relating to people’s passions for causes but perhaps as parents we need to feel passion at home too. 
If you lack passion, take the challenge. Choose a word and think about how it changes how you parent or even feel as a parent. I know reading these words I felt lighter and better, positive. Compare that with pressure and synonyms like burden, load, strain, demand, difficulty, coercion, force or obligation. I am drawing a line in my life today – I want to have passion for my family, my children, my parenting not pressure.
What word do you choose to put up today?

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