Anger - Broken Glass

Monday, January 31, 2011

Some children may experience anger as ‘broken glass’ – shattered and broken, perhaps a visual representation of anger related to a grief situation or a disappointment. 

Anger - Fireworks

Some children may experience anger that can be depicted as fireworks.
A few small outbursts and then a ‘big bang’ or as ongoing small outbursts constantly.

Anger - The Volcano

Some children experience anger that builds up and then erupts, like a volcano. 

Children may experience this type of anger if they build up anger about one specific issue over time or perhaps build up several smaller issues over time that eventually are expressed in ONE big 'explosive' tantrum. 

Anger - The Secondary Emotion

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Anger is an emotion that children experience to varying degrees and very differently. I use the term secondary emotion in this case only because I will be discussing anger as an emotion that has been triggered by another feeling or circumstance. That means that to understand or solve an anger issue it is necessary to work with children to understand what is happening before they become or ‘feel’ angry. This is a slow process and requires children to be on an age where they can be ‘self aware’. Some feelings before anger may include feeling afraid, disrespected, offended, pressured, humiliated, embarrassed or trapped. See our follow up posts and upcoming resources for some examples of how children may experience anger. Ie. Volcano, Fireworks or Broken Glass.
Getting a child to identify what anger looks or perhaps feels like for them is a step in identifying cause and finding solutions that work (more on that in upcoming resources).

My personal experience is that both my children respond differently when they are angry. This is because of their personality differences. Children may respond actively to anger, that is some children attack the target or someone or something else verbally or physically when they feel angry. Some children may respond more passively, sulking, feeling hostility or building up tension.

My 9yo - a social, active, outgoing child has always when getting angry said “I can’t control myself, my brain made me do it” at times I have heard from other children with similar personalities say “ I’m afraid, I can’t control it” or “I feel out of control”.

My 8yo - a more black and white child, who is cautious and diligent and when angry ‘sulks’ or retreats or becomes quiet or cries, drew this picture last year (out of his own he’d been working on it for a while at bed time).

He showed me this feeling chart and I found it interesting and asked him what does angry 'look' like and he clenched his jaw and let out a throaty clenched jaw grumble ”grrr”. Amazing, all that tension and no outburst, no tantrum or shouting – just a closed clenched jaw and a groan. Still anger but who would know? and often not something I would have to ‘treat’ or ‘process’? Compare this reaction to the child who throws items of furniture or hits and kicks or screams loudly. It has made me more aware that perhaps this ‘unprocessed’ anger could be contributing to his nightmares or night terrors?

So how does anger l'ook' for you or your child? Do you notice when your ‘calmer’ child is angry? What does your child do when they get angry?

Opportunity + Possibility

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Every year I come up with a theme for the year – a motto – that statement that will sum up my intentions, my hopes and thinking for the year.

Sitting at my desk these two words came to mind and they are my motto for this year – Opportunity + Possibility. I thought about these words and thought they really encapsulate all that a Parent with Potential is. It is someone who believes in possibility or something being possible. I looked into the meaning of opportunity, thinking it was something that comes by chance, which it is but also a little more. According to the Collins English Dictionary (2003) “opportunity” can also mean a favourable, appropriate, or advantageous combination of circumstances.
So that is my statement for this year to look out for Opportunity and believe in Possibility to fully live in my potential this year.

Parent with Potential is for every parent. Parents who want to work from home, parents returning to a workplace, Whether your parenting journey is difficult or easy. May this year be a year where opportunity and possibility come together to make you a Parent with Potential!

Do you have a motto this year? Do you have something you believe is possible? What opportunity would you like to see?

The Children's Counsellor © 2012 | Designed by Bubble Shooter, in collaboration with Reseller Hosting , Forum Jual Beli and Business Solutions